My best friend and part-time lover, Jaime Abeytia, says he hears that ex-Transportation Commissioner Ted Houghton might run from mayor.
The only place he is hearing that from is at a Whataburger as he scarfs down chicken fingers that County Judge Veronica Escobar bought him.
Anybody who knows Houghton knows he would make for a horrible candidate...never mind mayor.
I actually know Houghton. He will deny that he knows me, but that is okay.
Many years ago, my then-employer, Norma Chavez, needed a ride from the airport in Austin. This being before Uber it was me playing cab driver (insert ethnic joke here). Anyways, Chavez happened to be on a flight with Houghton, and Chavez being nice to Houghton volunteered me to give Houghton a ride as well.
Any guesses as to who would not shut up during the ride?
That's right...Houghton.
I do not really remember the details of the conversations had. Not that I was really interested in the one-sided conservation that was being had, I just remember wanting to hurry up and drop Houghton off at his hotel.
Houghton likes hearing himself talk.
Now I know a lot of elected officials like hearing themselves talk, but it is all on the spectrum. And Houghton would be on the farther end of the spectrum. Even Shapleigh seems like a monk sworn to silence by comparison.
So who would want to put someone like Houghton to run for Mayor?
Escobar.
I know I joke that Escobar is Houghton's maid, but more than likely it is Houghton that is Escobar's pool boy. I mean what do you think Houghton is doing on the UMC board? Escobar's bidding.
In the event Eliot Shapleigh's wife will not let Shapleigh run for mayor, Escobar's options for a friendly candidate that can win dwindle.
Her best shot is Houghton.
The El Paso Times already loves Houghton, and Houghton can tell voters, "You know that thing you call the trolley and the Loop? Well, a little 'thank you' would not hurt."
And if Houghton claims to have the money that he has, well, he makes his and Escobar's job easier.
Even with that, I cannot imagine Houghton at the Pavo Real pressing the flesh and people actually warming up to him.
I can hear it now, "¿Y este gringo sangrón?"