Y'all may remember Robbie Billiard. Robbie Billiard and his family run their construction empire from Anaractic Abodes. The Billiard Family, from the money they have earned from selling stucco homes that dot El Paso, engage in local and state level politics. Robbie, in particular, really likes the politics and pays an immigrant of questionable legal status, Mario Puertas, in Geritol and bingo money to blog non-sense.
We here at Max have had the fortune and privilege to listen in on Robbie conversations with others as well as take a glimpse into his mind.
Today, we were able to listen in on Robbie Billiard's conversation with himself in front of the restroom mirror at the Anaractic Abodes' corporate office.
Here's what Robbie Billiard had to say:
"God, I am good lookin' sonofabitch."
"Ain't that right, Robbie?!?!" I am truly the best looking Billiard."
"My brother Rudy...God...he looks what would happen if Matthew McConaughey and a parrot phucked and had a kid that was beaten with an ugly stick."
"And Craig...he looks a like gay sailor."
"You know who else isn't as good looking as me? That pussy Paul Foster. Billionaire, my white ass. Paul Foster got lucky. Unlike me...Robbie phuckin' Billiard who had to work for it. Does El Paso think stucco homes just sprout up in the desert? Well they do, and it's because of you. And by "you", I mean you you good lookin' sonofabitch."
"And don't you worry, Robbie. We are gonna find this sonofabitch Max Powers."
"He's probably living in his parent's basement in his underwear pullin' his pud unlike me. I never need anything from parents. This fine specimen of a man you see here is self-made."
"Oh shit, daddy is callin'."
*Any similarities to any real person are merely coincidental.