"It's like shooting somebody five times, but only fixing three of the holes," she said, adding that because of increasing costs, the new education money will barely be felt in the schools, if at all. (emphasis added)
Yes. That's right.
Our pansexual, who somehow is working on her doctorate, gave the most hoodrat answer a legislator could give.
Does she think "Blood In, Blood Out" plays well with voters or what?
Even then it does not make sense...even to a hoodrat.
Why would any gangbanger shoot someone five times, and then offer to "fix" that person, let alone half-ass "fix" that person?
Folks, we here at Max got a fake copy of a fake transcript of a fake conversation that occurred between our tall, good-looking, and handsome Congressman, Beto O'Rourke, and my ex-, Naomi Gonzalez.
It occurred a couple of weeks ago.
(Congressman O'Rourke one morning is tearing it up on his Schwinn heading to The Hill, when State Representative Naomi Gonzalez calls.)
O'Rourke: Yo! This is yo' Congress-MAN speaking. How can I represent you?
Gonzalez: Beto, It's me Naomi.
O'Rourke: Yo! Hey, Nomes! How ya' doin, bro!?!? Mary Gonzalez? Have you hit that yet???
Gonzalez: Excuse me?
O'Rourke: What? Doesn't Mary like chicks or something? I figure it would be match-made in the Legislature.
Gonzalez: Beto, shut up. I'm calling you about something really urgent, and no, Mary does not like chicks. And what is with all that wind?
O'Rourke: Okay, okay. Take it easy, bro. The wind? Sheeeeeiiiiit. I got you on my Bluetooth as I tear it up on my Schwinn. I got pegs on this mutha' so I can give my buddy, Aaron Schock, a lift. You know? The Congressguy who is almost as good-looking as me. Anyways. Lay it on me, Nomes.
Gonzalez: Jesus Christ. Anyways. Ummm....How do I say this...I got busted for driving drunk and hit a car. But nobody is seriously injured. Although the girls in the Fiat are kinda cute and all. But no one is hurt, but still I don't know, Beto. I really messed up big time. I don't know what to do.
O'Rourke: OOOOOOOOH! Naomi "hittin'" on chicks! BOOM!
Gonzalez: Beto, this is serious...
O'Rouke: Look, I am Irish and a Democrat. We all know you do not want Irish Democrats behind the wheel of anything other than the Wheel of Fortune. I would kick ass at that.
O'Rourke: Oh yeah, so you may or may not know, Naomi, but like my fellow Irish Democrat, Ted Kennedy, I too have been caught in a bit of pickle. Just between you and I, I too got busted for drunk driving. But don't tell anybody. It might get me un-elected or something. You saw what happened to David K.
Gonzalez: Yes, Beto. Do not worry. Your SECRET is safe with me. I promise NOBODY in El Paso knows about it. Remember, Beto, David K is German, not Irish. So you are okay.
O'Rourke: That's right!!! I forgot. David is a little goose-stepping kraut. He don't got the luck of the Irish! Marisa kinda does cos' she went to ND. Come to think of it that may explain why Marisa is such a brawler. She is FIGHTIN' Irish. Yea...
Gonzalez: Beto. Stop it. I need help.
O'Rourke: Okay. Okay. Time to get for realz. Look, it's hard. Hell, the only way Ted Kennedy could sober up was through death, but even then he could relapse. But I cannot die. So what did I do? Cycling, baby! You cannot drink too much and cycle. It is really hard. But even if you try, you cannot get arrested for cycling like a retard. Unlike with driving. If you crash into another bike, it's okay. You don't need to call the cops or call insurance. But now cycling is more than just a practical pursuit. It is a way of life. Which is why I want to create a bike lane from DC to EP. So if I was you, I too would pick up a bike. It's next to impossible to get into trouble on a bike.
Gonzalez: (Hangs up.)
O'Rourke: Hello? Nomes? You there? Oh shit! I better jump onto the sidewalk I see Joe Kennedy behind a wheel.
Y'all may have forgotten him, but this guy, Michael Apodaca, is running for city council.
His website claims:
Whether Michael is block walking in Northeast El Paso or talking to people over the phone in Florida, hearing their struggles and hopes motivates him to represent his home and district in City Council. (emphasis added)
Now you tell me.
Does this look like a guy who can walk a block, let alone walk from his parked car to a Whataburger cashier?