I have rounded up some of the New Year's resolutions of some folks here in El Paso.
Jaime Abeytia: To make sure Commissioner Vince Perez's Dr. Pepper is always cold and that I am top of getting his girlfriend's car oil changed every 3 months. And that I will work on being able to see my own penis without the aid of a mirror.
Susie Byrd: I will follow Doctor's orders, and take my Xanax as I am supposed to.
Steve Ortega: I am gonna try really hard at being faithful to my wife. It was kinda dumb of me to get married before I became Mayor because if I were single and Mayor I could have gotten some mad chocha.
Joe Moody: To do as my dad says.
El Paso City Hall: I have had enough. This year I end it all.
Veronica Escobar: I will try not to be jealous of the fact Beto and Steve have higher profile positions than me.
Naomi Gonazlez: I will put in more effort into the way that I look, and I will let Max Powers run this hands all over me.
Norma Chavez: I will grow as a person. I will realize that not everything is personal. I will work on myself health-wise. I will apologize to those who I did wrong. I will do more to help the community and actually volunteer at non-profits rather than offer free advertising to a third-rate bar....JUST KIDDING...LOL...jajajajaja...;););)